I’m writing my very last post as a conference virgin. I really don’t know what to expect. I’m really glad that a SITS conference is my first, it’s atmosphere is much more intimate due to the smaller amount of attendees. I’m thankful for that, because it won’t be too overwhelming for my first experience. But I gotta be honest…I AM SO NERVOUS!! It’s like I’m about to go into a new school and I’m the new kid from out of state that nobody knows. And I’ve never been that kid before! I lived in the same exact house from birth to graduation, and everyone I went to school with I knew from elementary school, for the most part.

So I’m totally freaked out….

But I’m hoping that the people I meet will be nice to me, and that I’ll get to see these amazing women that I’ve connected with and it’ll feel like we already know each other. I’m hoping it will be full of conversation, laughter, depth, fun. I mean, come on…we are some FUNNY ladies, right? I can’t wait to gain insight and knowledge into this world we’ve thrown ourselves into, this universe that’s not really understandable if you’re on the outside. But being on the inside…well, now that I’m here, I could never imagine being on the other side of the glass, now. I read all of these recaps from the WDW Mom’s conference, Mom2.0, Blissdom, and I think….wow, I don’t know if I’m popular enough with other bloggers to expect something as amazing as these people experienced. Those recaps are so full of love, passion, kindness, bliss, and I just fear I jumped the gun. Maybe I should’ve waited longer to attend a conference. Maybe I’m too new, maybe I’m setting myself up for failure. But I just realized something….

The sum of this experience will be a direct result of what I make it. I am the one in control of how this weekend will turn out. I can either let this fear of rejection lead me cowering into a corner, or I can allow my true nature to come through, and be outgoing and extroverted like I always am. I feel so fortunate to have found this community, and this will be my chance to let everyone see who I am, and why I want to be a part of what they’ve got going. My heart says I’m giddy like a schoolgirl, but my head says to be cautious. I think I’ll go in with a healthy dose of both, but I’ll let the excitement be my guide. The caution….well, I guess that’s just a part of me that guards my heart. I can’t be excited without it, really. My caution is a defense mechanism that has served me well in so many situations, it hangs on like a leech; even when I don’t need it.

So if you see me being standoffish, punch me in the neck. I’ll know why you’re doing it.

CANNOT WAIT TO MEET ALL OF YOU! And remember, I’ve got the suite. It’s gonna be like a Jay-Z video up in thur. Just kidding…but I will have movies and wine. I just bought The September Issue about Vogue and Anna Wintour. SO GOOD! Am I talking about this movie again? Oh crap, if this is any indication of how much I’m going to blabber on in the midst of anxiety, I’m in trouble….