What is up, my people? So yes, I’ve been MIA. And not in a fun way, like the singer. I wasn’t doing anything even remotely close to fun, unless you enjoy finding your face in a toilet every single day, which is disgusting and dirty because you’re too sick to clean it. My husband, God bless his soul, has kept up on the cleaning (somewhat) and fed our child dinner. He’s pretty much been a one-man show since the last time I posted here. If it wasn’t for him, we’d be on an episode of “Hoarders” and my son would be like one of those wolf-raised kids from the deep woods of Nowhere-ville.

So much to tell you all…

First, the hyperemesis has been controlled pretty effectively by Zofran; whoever discovered that little perfection of chemically concocted elements is a freakin’ genius (did I forget to tell you all I had hyperemesis?) It didn’t really take away the nausea and vomiting completely, but it did allow me to live without feeling like my internal organs were being ripped apart and tossed out of my gullet by a ferocious monster. So I guess you can say I’ve come quite a long way.

I stopped posting because….well, because I couldn’t even sit up, let alone write a coherent post. And I didn’t want to write post after post that was filled with whining and complaining. So I just refrained from torturing you with my sob stories, that would’ve gotten unbelievably boring after a few days of this:

GOD HELP ME! I’M SO SICK….I CAN’T EVEN….BBLLLLAAAAHHHHKKK

Once a few weeks had passed without so much as a peep from me, I started to fear for my blog’s short-lived but well-loved life. As we all know, life goes on; blogs are started and then they’re gone before you’ve even posted a comment. And Twitter….don’t even get me started. I’m pretty sure I’ve been unfollowed by everyone I love, and probably by a few that I don’t really love. BUT I LOVE ALL OF YOU! Know that, fo’ sho’. So what began as a health-induced hiatus turned into a fear-based self-banishment from social media.

Weeks passed, then months. And I noticed something strange happening….I found myself agitated, irritated, feeling as if I wasn’t fulfilling some inherent need. And no, not the obvious need to keep food from rocketing out of my stomach, but a more pressing, emotional, psychological need for release. I was missing something that had, in such a short time, become very integral to my existence as a mom. Blogging, and the people that I’d connected with through it, had become that “thing”, that missing piece of my life that kept me sane. And I desperately needed it, now more than ever. I had to put aside my fear of being left behind, being lost in the bloggyverse, being forgotten….because it’s more than that. It’s for my growth and mental well-being; and for those that like to hear what I have to say, I’m thrilled you’re here. I hope that I don’t lose those connections, I hope that my beloved readers and friends return. But something I’ve learned in this valley of puke and misery: you have to do what you have to do to bring peace and love to yourself, and your family, too. And if you lose friends or readership or whatever in the meantime, you’ll survive and thrive regardless, if it’s what’s meant to be…if it’s what your heart desires to put forth to the universe. If it’s what the good Lord’s will has in store.

So here I am. Back blogging, writing, doing what gives me fulfillment on an individual, creative level. My little man just hopped up on the couch with me, effectively crushing my typing hands; and my husband just sat on the other end of the couch, crushing my feet and jamming my legs up into my ever-burgeoning belly. My time is up, but I wanted to explain why I was gone, and beg for your forgiveness…..forgive me, please??

Oh, and one more thing…..it’s a girl.