Ever since I can remember, I’ve been a fan of TLC’s programming. When I was in college and idealistic and cheesy, I loved “A Wedding Story”. I probably cried at every episode, meanwhile critiquing everything from the bride’s choice of dress to her choice of dress for the bridesmaids. Apparently I’m very judgmental when it comes to bridal fashion, why I have no clue.

Then I reached that point in my life where I was looking forward to having babies. Once I met Papa, I wanted to create babies with him in the kinds of quantities you’d find in the Oriental Trading Company catalog (you know how you can get mini plastic kazoos in a quantity called a “unit” which is actually like 9879897 of them?) In order to appease this insatiable appetite for children, I started watching and DVRing every single episode of Bringing Home Baby, Birth Day, Babies: Special Delivery, Adoption Stories, and A Baby Story. It required much memory on the DVR and it spanned several channels. Poor Papa had this terrified, slightly nauseated look on his face upon reading the programs that were filling up the queue. That’s not really true…I just said it for comedic value. Papa wanted babies from the get-go. He would’ve impregnated me on our first date if he could have. Actually….it wasn’t too much longer after that I was indeed knocked up! But I digress….

Back to the baby shows. Until I had actually given birth to a real, live baby, I thought what was on those shows was probably pretty close to accurate. Obviously I was horrendously wrong. BUT after having a baby and breastfeeding that baby, I realized that the BIGGEST misconceptions that were being perpetuated and spread among new moms and moms-to-be because of these shows were those regarding the logistics and BASIC FACTS about breastfeeding a baby. Every single time I watch these shows I am painfully more aware of how they are spreading dangerous misinformation about breastfeeding. I have so many questions to ask these moms:
1) Have you EVER read anything about breastfeeding…ever? 2) Where did you come up with some of the ideas you have about breastfeeding? 3) I mean really, did you even read the pamphlet that they gave you upon leaving the hospital?

It has really started to upset me.

So this post is for all of those moms-to-be that watch those shows and take the information coming from the mouths of these new moms to heart. Because most, but not all of them, have no freakin’ clue what they are talking about. I’m going to clear up the 3 most common misconceptions that are being thrown out there by the moms of “Bringing Home Baby”:

1. Mom says this on day 2 post birth: “Well, my milk hasn’t come in yet so the baby isn’t getting enough to eat so we’re just going to supplement with some formula until my milk comes in.” WHAT? The suckling action of your baby stimulates the breast to produce milk. And your milk usually doesn’t come in, on average, until around day 4-5 post birth – but the baby isn’t hungry anyway; the colostrum is ALL YOUR BABY NEEDS until your milk actually comes in. By giving the baby formula and not allowing your infant to suckle on your breasts, you are inadvertently doing exactly what you’re trying to avoid: low milk supply. New babies are prepared for birth and the initiation of breastfeeding with an extra supply of fat to convert into energy, that’s why they lose weight after birth. The baby’s body is primed for colostrum ingestion only.

2. Mom: “The baby is having trouble nursing because he keeps falling asleep at the breast, so we’re just going to give him a bottle because we don’t want him to starve.” At this point, I’m spewing venom at the television and screaming at this exhausted, uninformed new mom and hoping against hope that she can hear me in TV land. BABIES FALL ASLEEP AT THE BREAST A LOT IN THE FIRST FEW WEEKS. Heck, they fall asleep a lot doing everything in the first few weeks. To keep baby up and alert during feedings, take off the blanket or swaddle, strip them down to the diaper if need be (that’s what we had to do with Henry), and rub their back or tickle their toes. This is so common among nursing infants it’s ridiculous. AND THE BABY IS NOT GOING TO STARVE. As long as you’re getting wet and dirty diapers during the day, you’re good to go.

3. “The baby nursed nonstop all night and most of the day yesterday, so it’s obvious that my milk hasn’t come in yet and the baby needs to eat. We’re just going to give her a bottle.” (Standing in front of the television and throwing the pieces of my breast pump at the new mom, while karate-kicking the air over and over again.) Babies that nurse eat a lot more than formula-fed babies! Breastmilk is baby’s perfect form of nutrition, therefore it is perfectly, efficiently processed by baby’s digestive system. That means it goes through the little one very fast. Which means she’s going to be hungry much sooner than you think! The thing about this fact is that it is not widely publicized; I’ve read pretty much every nursing book on the market and even some old, obscure ones, and only a few have actually stated that new babies nurse a whole heck of a lot more than you think. More than the “every 2-3 hours from beginning of a session to the end” that is recommended by said breastfeeding literature. Even though babies are SUPPOSED to nurse every 2-3 hours, it is more common that they eat closer to every 1 1/2-2 hours. (And when they “cluster feed” it’s more like every hour.) I know, it seems like a lot. But once those precious times are over, and your little one is way more interested in crawling around, and they nurse in record time, you’ll miss these moments. TRUST ME. And once again, you produce more milk the more you nurse, so if your baby is nursing a ton, you are building your supply for the baby. Stopping feedings because you think you don’t have enough breastmilk is completely counterintuitive!

All in all, it really boils down to this: just keep nursing. It may seem like your little succubus must be draining every last ounce of fluid from your body, and there is no way you have anything left to give. But you do. And your breasts are never truly “drained” or “empty” anyway. When a practitioner refers to emptying a breast, they are speaking of having the baby go through both the foremilk and hindmilk completely. See, even if you feel like your breast is empty, the baby is still getting milk if he’s eating and seems satisfied. Yes, babies DO use your breasts as pacifiers sometimes (we’ve dealt with that too). But even if they do, it’s nothing but good for you because it’s further building your supply which is what you want. I missed being able to comfort Henry in that way once I stopped nursing. I longed to be his binky again.

IF YOU ARE HAVING PAIN, OR IF BABY DOES NOT SEEM SATISFIED AFTER A FEEDING (I.E. CRYING, ARCHING BACK AT BREAST, BABY IS NOT RELAXED/LETHARGIC, NO PEE OR POO, ETC.) OR SEEMS DEHYDRATED, CONTACT A LACTATION CONSULTANT! I know there are problems with breastfeeding for some women, and I know it is hard. It wasn’t hard for me (what a blessing), but I am well aware of how difficult it can be for some women. But so many of the issues that nursing mothers talk about ARE very common and not a reason to stop breastfeeding. In fact, as I’ve stated many times in this post, discontinuing breastfeeding in most instances will create the exact problem you’re trying to avoid. I’m not a nursing lunatic, but I know that lots of new mothers desperately want to breastfeed and end up throwing in the towel based on things they see on these shows. And that is so unfortunate. Nursing is such a joy, once you get it right. And hey, if you just don’t want to breastfeed, that is totally fine and your choice. I’m not trying to convince anyone to do something they just do not want to do. I just wanted to clear up some of the lies that these shows perpetuate.

The reason I wrote this post is because I nursed my first, and he latched on in the delivery room which led my nurses to call me “the natural”. Little did they know, I had taken every class, read every book, and went to La Leche League meetings just so I could get to that point (and even all of that effort could have led to a rocky start anyway). I stopped earlier than I would’ve liked to, and I regret that to this day. Once I quit, I realized how much I truly loved nursing Henry. I tried relactation, but he just laughed when I tried to put him back on the breast, and that was only a week after we’d stopped. I had plenty of milk, he latched on well, but he used me as a pacifier and it kind of annoyed me. He had a fussy period, like every baby/toddler does during the day, and he nursed a lot during that time which I didn’t realize was very common. Now, at 4, there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to go back to me then and tell myself, “Let him use you as a comfort. Soon, he’ll want daddy more and you’ll be the second banana.”

So that’s it. WOW, that might be the longest post I’ve ever written. It was really important to me to get this out on the blog. It feels good to let other mamas know that the stuff about breastfeeding, specifically, that you see on those shows is sometimes very WRONG. And somewhere, deep down, I feel like at least my experience can be used for the greater good…however small it might be. I’m feeling all “charitable” now….can I get some sort of breastfeeding awareness award or something? Or smartest woman alive award? Anyone?